AWE

The past few days have reminded me of when I was on a cruise about two years ago... it was one of those "last minute deal" cruises... very inexpensive... and very last minute.. I know what it was so cheap, too. It was my fifth cruise, but, by far - my lease favorite. However, there is something to be said for the experience I had. The Lord reveals himself in ways that aren't always planned to us, and if places that aren't always perfect to us. But they are in his time and in his way.

While we where on the ship, we went through a tropical storm. In fact, it was the first storm of hurricane season. The hot Caribbean rain was brief because we detoured and passed through the edge of the storm fairly quickly. Not, however, quick enough to escape the rolling seas that caused the ship to rock, what seemed like, uncontrollably. Many of the passengers where sea sick and had quarantined themselves inside their boxy rooms. Others, not tending to the sickly, were somewhere other than the upper and outside decks. Ignoring the red and white “Warning – Do Not Open – High Winds” sign on the door to the Promenade deck, I made my way out to the open-air area of that deck and walked the length of the starboard side to the ship’s forward. Standing in the center of the ship’s forward deck in the middle of the night, there was no one else around. It seemed no one else had dared to ignore the warning sign. There I stood, at the forward most point the ship’s passengers could go, and all alone in the darkness of nightfall. I just stood there, taking it all in. Just to be there in that moment, I felt closer to God. I really wanted to pray, but could not manage to muster any words appropriate enough. Then it hit me. I was praying. Prayer is not communication so much as it is communion with God. I was communing with Him. I started thinking about this massive ship I was on: The M.S. Holiday. It was one of the first in Carnival’s fleet of vessels and is the smallest, weighing in at 92,104,000 pounds (46,052 tons). Though the comparatively small size of this - still - massive vessel, thousands of people went into laying it out, building it, putting it together, decorating it, and many other things that had to be done to get it ready to serve as a floating resort. As I stood there at one of the highest and most forward points of the ship, I thought about the thousands of people that make ships such as the Holiday possible. They are huge and breathtaking. Then I looked out in front of me and saw the expanse of the ocean all around me. Though it was dark, the white light from the moon managed to glow from behind the thin layer of passing clouds to kiss the water just enough to draw the horizon where the dark vastness of the ocean met the infinite and starry sky. I knew from one of the captain’s earlier briefings that we where sailing on seas upwards on a mile to two miles deep. There I was: standing alone on this massive manmade liner surround on every side by God’s beautiful creation. Here is the ship that took more than a year for thousands of people to create pushing along in this stretch of depth, miles of clear horizon, and under a spectacularly endless sky… all of which God created by himself with a word and in less than a few days. I was in the midst of God’s glory. “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim His handiwork.” - Psalms 19:1. When John Piper was once asked to define “glory”, he responded, “It is like the word ‘beauty’. We all can use it and communicate with it, but to reduce it to words is frustrating. It is easier to point to examples.” I really feel like the Lord brought me out on a boat in the middle of the ocean, at that place and moment in time to really knock me off my feet. My past prayers for God to reveal His glory to me seemed out of place. If I know everything, including myself, was created for His glory, how should I live? 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So, whatever you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” In Matthew 5:16, Jesus tells is to, “let our light shine before others so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” If I truly believe that everything is for His glory, everything I do should be for His glory. The problem is, I do not always fully believe in the Glory of our awesome God, my Father. If I believed it, I would live like it. If I truly believe it, then I should live like Moses and seek God’s glory and then resolve to claim it.

“Do you believe in angels?” I remember being asked this question when I was just a kid. It is a common question. Nearly as common as, “do you believe in God?” As a kid, my answer was quick, “Yes!” My child-like faith allowed me to believe in things without trying to find alternate explanations, and my answers to these questions were without the cynicism that I quickly acquired in my early teenage years. Today, I am just as likely to answer, “yes” to questions like this, but I have to battle against my reasoning that makes me want to attribute the things that we can only describe as super-natural as such.

A couple of Fridays ago, I was at the office. It was a typical Friday. There was a lot to get done from a week of being [just a little] behind, and the “shift horn” was about to blow us into a warmly welcomed weekend. As a ministry, and especially being downtown, we find ourselves recurrently visited by people who notice the “ministry” sign hanging outside and assume it to be a beacon for those in need – as well, that is exactly what they should assume, if we get right down to it. For someone who says he loves to serve, I sometimes – admittedly – get frustrated when the completion of my “to do” lists are delayed because things get added to them.

On this particular Friday, at this particular time, we were trying to meet a mail deadline for our summer flyer blast. Then, as though she had spotted the ministry from the doctor’s office adjacent to us, an older woman made her way across the street and to the sidewalk in front of our office. As soon as we realized she had noticed us, we started paying a little more attention. With just a slight hesitation she started walking the few more steps to our office. Only moments before we realized she was going to come in and not just window browse down South 5^th, my collogue and I made, what could be – at best - described as critical comments about this lady that we knew absolutely nothing about. We christians (intentionally left un-capitalized), in the confines of our lofty office, exercising our refined disciplines of “to do” ministry, thought nothing of giving her labels and stereotypes. All while having spent the last few weeks promoting our Mexico mission projects under the tagline, “You don’t have to go around the world to make a difference.” After rethinking this, maybe I should rewrite the line to read, “You don’t have to go far to make a difference, start with yourself.”

She was an older lady… maybe in her 60’s. Her thin, dull hair, aged face, and quivering hands were indicative of the life that had brought her to our doorstep. She reached for the handle, which put both my coworker and me in a brief, silent stage of conjecture. She stepped just inside the door and, with a voice as shaky as the hand she extended to greet me, she asked, “Are you a ministry?” Even then she only had half of my attention as I tried to keep doing my “work” and talk to her. “Yes, ma’am, we are,” I replied. It was a typical question that was commonly a lead-in to requests for any number of things. “Do you do missionary work?” she asked. The particular phrasing she used in asking the question was different enough for me to stop what I was doing and clarify the inquiry. “Do you mean, do we do mission trips?” She nodded and replied, “yes.” “Yes ma’am we sure do. Breakaway has been all over the world the last several years, and we are going to Mexico a good bit this year.” I said, boastfully. At this juncture, I wasn’t sure what was coming next, but I assumed she had stepped in to make conversation.

“I’d like to give some money to the mission trip,”

she said. She opened her purse and pulled out a ten-dollar bill. My heart broke under the weight of its own poor condition. I took the bill and sat in on the desk. I had no idea what to do or say. God had brought my sin into the light, and I couldn’t even say “thank you.” I went to get my Director, Eddie, from next door, and on the way, I had to regain myself. I returned with Eddie about a minute after going to get him. He began talking to the lady about her life and where she had been. She immediately began talking about God with this faith that just poured out of her. She talked about her church, and about miracles in her life and times when she had experienced the presence of the Lord.

Eddie reached out to grab her hand, and she began to pray scripture over him. Not “bowing her head and closing her eyes,” but locking eyes with him and boldly proclaiming scripture over him with extraordinary authority. After which, Eddie prayed for her. The lady then left and I literally was sick. The only thing I could think about was this woman whose faith could crumble mountains. The fact was, her faith wasn’t just spoken. Speaking is easy. Her faith was evident, tangible. Why? Because there she stood with nothing much to offer but giving all she had.

I thank God that His response to me was not the same as my response to her when I first saw her coming. My wretched sin had me so caught-up in the agenda of ministry that I forgot to do ministry. I am often crippled by the lie that my God is so caught-up in his God-sized agenda that perhaps he really doesn’t worry much about me when he sees me coming. Or the lie that maybe he sees me coming and grumbles about ‘what I am going to need next.’

Truth be told, we look like this lady. We are worn out with not much to offer. Our faith should never be placed in what we have to give God. If that were it, we’d put a lot of faith in ten-dollar offerings that bear ten-dollar results. We, the offerers, do not determine the value of our life’s offering. Its value is determined by to whom we offer it. If we keep our life to ourselves, then the only value it will have is the value we can accrue, but end the end… it’s worthless. This lady came and gave what she had. She gave regardless of what the gifts value appeared to be. Rather, she gave ten dollars in obedience, and in faith that her offering was priceless and that all she had to give was enough.

Some say they don’t believe in angels. Some say angels do exist, but they don’t come to earth, and certainly they don’t come in the form of a person. Others do not believe in angels. To some, they have a “guardian angel” that protects them and comforts them. To others, angels are bright lights that speak to them. To others still, it is their loved ones, and children. To me, an angel is an old white-haired woman with a faded dress and worn-out shoes who gave what little she had in obedience to her God she loved.

Salvation

I fully believe that the church's greatest irresponsibility is not the lack of evangelism but the assumption of the religious people's salvation. When there are so many churches, the sad thing is that they aren't broken for the lost people yards away from their doorsteps, or thousands of miles away from country. But the saddest thing yet is that these churches hold within their walls the masked non-believer who feels unable to approach anyone about their searching because the church has done such a stellar job of telling everyone how to "be saved". "Today is the day of Salvation," not because salvation is a form of "being" something, or having a feeling or an emotion, or because of a prayer, or through something a pastor or priest can affirm... but because Salvation is Jesus and God saving us is through His Divine, Holy, Righteous, and Glorious election of His saints. When we as a church attest to someone's salvation by a pointing to a prayer or their feelings in some moment in time, we rob them of the truth of the character of God: that He receives glory in saving and damning anyone He so choices in accordance with His predestined will... but that He loves us so much that He sent Jesus Christ, His only Son, as a sacrificial atonement; to die on a cross - my death; to descend in Hell - my damnation; and to be buried - in my grave; but to then defeat them all in His precious resurrection. 

We cannot barter with God and offer anything to Him except what He has required. There is nothing - no life, possestion, assest, or worth - that exists that did not come from Him and that He doesn't already own... it is all His. To 'give' Him something is simplly placing it in the hands of the one who already owns it. To get to God we don't 'give' Him anything... to get to God He gave US Jesus and it is by Him and through Him we crusify our old selves and are saved. Salvation isn't "simple" because of what we can do or say or pray. Salvation is HERE because of how glorious He is. Praise God and to Him: Glory.

Hobble

Last Friday was a busy day for me, so I ran and picked up lunch to bring back to the office. Chick-fil-A was my natural choice. As I was leaving, there was a lady coming with her leg in some medical get-up that made her walk a little slower that perhaps she was used to. I held the door for her, and grabbed the second door, too (why they put two doors, I have no idea)… and she said the customary thank you and something along the lines of having to hobble everywhere. “We all have to hobble sometimes," I said, in a quick attempt to be pseudo-conversational.  She laughed and that was that.

Perhaps, in my attempt to be witty, I was unintentionally more the wiser than I realized. We all have to stumble sometimes. While I do not mean we will all eventually spend a few days in a cast, I do mean that spiritually, we are prone to stumble and - often times - fall.  When we fall, any first reaction we have usually carries one purpose - to look like we haven't fallen. Frequently, we naturally want to jump back to our feet and survey the area for any onlookers that have just witnessed this blemish in our perfect stroll.  Other times, we have pain from the fall, but we walk anyway, trying harder by the step to not look as though something isn't right.  When we must, we go to the doctor and get put in a cast.  No one really likes that - it forces us to face our fall every day; and worse: people will know.  No matter how hard we try to cover it up, not matter how quickly we want our wounds to heal, the worst part of it all is that others will know.  Why is that?

When, in sin, do we look for grace?  

Before we sin and say we never found it?  

While we sin and say it's to late? 

After we sin and blame it on not enough?  

Perhaps Christians have done a great job of showing everyone how to get up quickly from the fall and walk again... we've made our churches into hospitals of broken people all walking around with casts praying no one notices.

We've all fallen.  In fact, We were all born fallen.  As a Christian, I have been reborn, though... this time - I've been born into grace.  What does that mean?

We don't have to look for grace.

Before we sin, we have been given grace that is enough.

While we sin, we cannot sin it away.

After we sin, we cannot find His grace to be inadequate.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'  So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ made reside in me." 2 Cor 12:9

We should never boast in our sin.  That is foolish.  We should boast in our Savior whose grace is enough no matter how bad of a fall we had or how wounded a person we are.  His power is perfect in our weakness.

Perhaps a great lesson for us to learn is not to worry so much about looking like we are perfect walkers with 'hidden' limps, but to realize we, as Christians, are chosen to have the ability to walk at all... and, even though we fall, and even though we all have to hobble sometimes... in that very ability to walk, grace abounds.

J.P.

My boss was a youth minister before he became the director of the ministry where I work.  There is this man that is about 40-years-old who comes around all the time.  

He is doesn't have a house, and his home is where ever he finds a place to lay his head at night.  /  He is addicted to several medications and literally has to be picked up off of the floor when he is high.  /  He has a good heart underneath it all, and goes to visit his mother in the nursing home everyday.  /  Sometimes, he just ticks me off because I am trying to work and do my job and he always comes in and needs something.  /  "What now, J.P.?"  /  He is dirty and smells.  /  His brain is so fried that when we do actually have a job he can do, he can't comprehend how to do it and needs to be walked through every step over and over again.  /  The only thing he has to offer me is an open hand to receive.  /  He is always so needy.  /  There are things I want to do, but I have to take care of him first.

The other day, he comes and sits at one of the chairs in front of my desk.  I wasn't doing much, so I took the chance to get to know him a little.  As he told me about his life, the Lord just smacked me in the head.  The Lord desires J.P. to know Him.  He craves to be J.P.'s savior.  He loves J.P.

Wait.  I am suppose to love J.P.?  Find him greater than myself?  Wow.  It is so easy to give out of duty or to get him off my back.  But The Lord loves J.P. in spite of J.P.  Whatever I do unto the least to these, I do unto Christ. 

Here I am - just absolutely baffled that someone could have the nerve to keep coming around and getting hand outs from us... and really just put out with him.  Only to realize - I am a J.P. before God.

I am dirty.  All I have is fifthly rags.  I come before God with one thing to offer: an opened hand for him to give me something.  I am addicted to getting high from things of this world that leave me crippled and needing God to drag me up off of the floor.  I am so needy.  The Lord wants to do so much for me and with me, but there I am, always begging for something more and something better.  Sure, I do good things, but my good deeds done for any reason outside of my faith in the Lord is sinful.  I am nasty and I smell horrible and no one would want to embrace me.  I am a pile of self-seeking desires.  I have no value.  I am J.P.

But the Lord.  Oh, the Lord is good.  He wraps his arms around me, and cleanses me.  He meets my needs in spite of me  No matter how far I walk away from Him, he sees me and turn to Him and he runs to me.  The Lord loves me and knows me.  He is my Savior.

"To be a true servant, a servant of humbleness, we must condescend to all the weaknesses and infirmities of out fellow-creatures, cover their frailties, love their excellencies, encourage their virtues, relieve their wants, rejoice in their properties, compassionate their distresses, receive their friendship, overlook their unkindness, forgive their malice, be a servant to servants, and condescend to do the lowest offices to the lowest of mankind."

Entitlement

What is that instinct that is built in to us that wants things bigger, better, newer, more expensive?

I’ve spent some time over the last few days thinking about what it must be like to look at the way Christians live; moreover, at the way I live. An astounding piece of a case-study, I am.

As I have been taking note of how we as Christians operate our lives, it was not long before a lot of things came into view. We have an entitlement perspective on life when we are the very ones who should not feel entitled to anything. Instead of being people who seem to act as though they are due something from God, we seem to have just left God out of the picture altogether (as to not offend Him, I’m sure), and simply act as though other people owe us something.

I am not a preacher of the poverty gospel that says we cannot have anything of value and stresses that we must ascribe ourselves to some vow of scarcity. On a second glance, though: why not? Why, if there are so many Christians, are their so many homeless people? Why, if America’s Evangelical Christian community grosses $16.5 Billion a year in income, are their so many hungry people? Why in the world, when there is someone close by in need, do I need a new computer? Really, all I have is wants. I have all I need. If this is the case, then why, if I am a Christian, do I have lost neighbors? Because I also have all they need in my precious Savior.

Why is it that we deserve nothing but feel entitled to it all: bigger and better; yet have the Savior of the world and give nothing of possession or of ourselves away?

If we are who we say we are – believers – surely we do not think we honor God when we have any sense of entitlement. If our faith is real, it becomes aggressive because of this massive outpouring of love we have for God. Aggressive love for God will produce an aggressive faith in God, which produces aggressive actions. Actions alone do not honor God. God honors those who honor him. Which means it is our response to God that determines His response to us.

If we are who we say we are, then where are we? What is our response to God who has given us all that we have? What is out response to God who has given us Salvation?

God is entitled to bigger and better. I am merely given the privilege, despite my broken life of dirty rags, to lift my hands to Him and sing His praise.

Welcome

Test Blog.
4.11.08 12:37 am